I saw them as I
walked towards the hostel. They sat around, surveying the groups of freshies
with such an air of propriety that I was compelled to give myself a once-over
to ensure presentability. In most normal contexts, the aforesaid is likely to
evoke images of strict wardens, matrons and the like. But ask any inmate of the mad world of IITM
and they’ll tell you: “Oh yeah—the monkeys.”
In most hostels, some part of the day is spent by us chasing
cockroaches and other pests out of the rooms. In Sharav, however, a large part
of the day is spent by monkeys chasing us out of our rooms, following which
they nimbly sift through our belongings and make away with anything edible.
Some smart ones knock on doors and slide in when we open it expecting a
wingmate or roomie. After a couple of unpleasant lessons, we have adopted the
policy of asking ‘Man or Monkey?’ before letting anyone in. Lately, they seem
to have taken quite a shine to mobile phones; it is a nagging suspicion that
they rewire them and use them as walkie-talkies. After co-existing with
generations of budding engineers, one can never tell….
Then there are a few with ‘acquired tastes’—one snatched a
tube of face-wash from a hapless freshie and downed its contents in a gulp.
Those of us with cosmetic possessions have now learnt to keep an eye out for a
particularly ‘fair and lovely’ monkey.
At night, we take turns: either the monkeys create a ruckus
outside while we cower in our rooms, sleepless, or we have raucous late-night
get-togethers and annoy the sleeping monkeys clinging to our window grills.
Do not, however, expect any empathy from outsiders on the
matter. Unless one sees for oneself, it is impossible to believe of a hostel
where people and monkeys live in (questionable) harmony. So don’t tell your
friends back home things like “Sorry I couldn’t call you yesterday; a monkey
took my phone” (Monkeys? Really? Next time get a better excuse—humph!) or “Dude,
there are so many monkeys here!” (What, your hostel-mates are that ugly?)
Oops…just a sec: someone’s knocking on the door.
“Man or Monkey?”
“Monkey!”
Hahaha….wait.
Vocab from the MA’s is only the next step after
walkie-talkies from the techies.
I am NOT opening that door.
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